A Close Call

My wife and I went through a scare last week.

I’ve been trying to post twice a week, Wednesday and Friday.  I’ve been fairly consistent since November, but sometimes things come up.  The reason I didn’t post last Friday is because my wife texted me when I got to work that she thought something was wrong with the baby.

Apparently, the night before she hadn’t felt the baby move all evening.  She noticed it, but didn’t think too much of it.  In the morning when she woke up, the baby still wasn’t moving.  She got up, showered, had breakfast, and headed to work.  All the while the baby still wasn’t kicking.  My wife wasn’t worried too much the night before, but in the morning she became increasingly scared that something was wrong.  She had been experiencing some other weird issues recently, so after a few hours at work we decided that she should call her doctor.  When the doctor heard what was going on, he said that she should immediately go to the hospital for a full exam.  This all happened within a four hour window.

The sequence of events for me that day went like this:

  1. Go to work
  2. Get a text from my wife who has not felt the baby  move for 15 hours
  3. Frantically Google the symptoms she’s having and finding a bunch of horror stories on line
  4. Waiting for her to get service to respond to my texts
  5. Get the order from the doctor to go to the hospital
  6. Driving 30 minutes to meet my wife in the hospital
  7. Wait for the exam

In the time between getting the text from my wife and meeting her in the hospital, I had a sense of fear and panic unlike anything I’ve had as an adult.  Most of the time, my life is easy.  I don’t have things in my life that cause me to have true fear or dread.  The possibility of my wife having a late term stillbirth put a deep fear into me.  It was absolutely terrifying.  On top of my fear, I was scared for my wife.  My wife is an amazing woman, but she’s very emotional.  I didn’t know how badly she would handle a stillbirth, but it would have been a terrible reaction.

Thankfully, the baby turned out to be fine.  I don’t talk about my faith too much on this blog, but I was praying the whole time for God to save my baby.  I was terrified driving to the hospital, because I didn’t know what kind of news I was walking into.  When I walked from my car up to the hospital and into the maternity ward my legs felt like rubber.  It honestly felt like someone else was walking for me and I was just along for the ride.

When I walked into the room, I walked into good news.  I truly believe that was God intervening in my life.  However, I know that not everyone has such a good experience.  I read a lot of their stories that day on line.  What a horrifying thing to go through, my heart goes out to those whose story doesn’t end as well as mine did that day.  If you or your partner is pregnant, don’t hesitate to get checked out.

On a more positive note, I have made some progress on the crib.  I uploaded some pictures of one of the side assemblies, there are pictures below.

Crib – Cutting and Routing

Making some real progress on the crib.

I’ve been working on the crib off and on for the past few weeks.  This past weekend I finished up the cutting and the routing.  I haven’t been as active on this as I hoped, but I’m making some real progress now.

Cuts

I haven’t done much work with wood in years.  I’ve always liked it, but I never had money for the tools needed. Now that my wife and I have a stable income, I can afford the tools I couldn’t before.  Cutting the wood down to size was extremely satisfying.  Like I said it’s been a while since I’ve done a project like this, so I was really happy all my measurements were pretty accurate.  I wasn’t off by more than an 1/8 of an inch on any of the cuts.

Routing

IMG_0565.JPG

I’ve never used a router before, so that was really exciting for me.  I got one for christmas specifically for this project, and I used it to round over the edges of the wood I cut up.  You can see in this picture the difference before and after routing.  My wife got me a set of routing bits, so I have a lot of options for future projects as well.

It’s so satisfying doing this project because I know that my baby is going to be using this crib.  My wife loves it to, it’s definitely bringing us closer together.  Her sister is having her own baby today and we are just over 6 months, so there’s a lot of baby stuff going on in my life.

Next up in this project is to attach the slats to the rails and start assembling the four sides of the crib.  I’ll be taking pictures and I’ll post an update when I have something more to show for myself.

Updates – 3/9/17

Updating on a few recently discussed topics.

Just updating the blog on a few random things I’ve been posting on lately.  Things are heating up for me at work so I haven’t been able to put a ton of effort into my writing, so I thought I’d catch up on some things I’ve been talking about recently.

Wife/Baby

20-weeks-pregnant-fetus
Roughly what my wife looks like right now.

My wife and baby are doing great.  She’s about 20 weeks right now, so we’re definitely over the mid way point.   All the fatigue she was feeling is gone, really her only struggle right now is the growing belly.  I got her a body pillow to sleep with, so that has made her more comfortable.  The baby is healthy, we’ve had many ultrasounds and doctor appointments recently and everything is looking good.

That painting at the top of this post is a project my wife is working on for our nursery right now.  We’re going for a Noah’s ark theme, and I love how this painting looks.  She does crochet and draws, so this is right up her alley.

Expectant Father

614oozzkwrl-_sx331_bo1204203200_
GREAT book for soon to be dads.

I have been reading several parenting books for new parents, and for whatever reason most of them haven’t clicked with me.  I don’t know if it’s the style or the tone that puts me out, but I really don’t like most of the books I’ve tried to get into.  My wife found this book, The Expectant Father and gave it to me.  It breaks every month of a pregnancy down and helps me to understand what’s happening from a male perspective.  This is very valuable to me as most parenting books for new parents are written for the mother, and the portion for the father gets boiled down to “be supportive.”  That’s not very helpful for me, I’m already super involved and supportive to my wife, I need more than that.  This book is giving me what I want,  it’s helping me understand the pregnancy from MY perspective.  I highly recommend it to other soon to be fathers.

Crib/Saw

crib
This is a picture of what the crib should look like when it’s done, according to the plans I bought.

So I’ve definitely been procrastinating hardcore on the crib.  It feels like a weight hanging over me at all times, I really just need to get it done.  I have the miter saw out of the box and ready to be attached to my work bench.  With that and the router I got for Christmas, I have all the tools and materials I need to make the crib, I just need the motivation.  Honestly it’s making me feel guilty that I haven’t done much with it yet, I’m probably just going to go berserk in the next weekend or two and blast through the whole thing.

Nioh

3111629-nioh_screenshot09
Nioh’s spider monsters in action.

I’ve reached the last region in the game, and I’m pretty sure I only have a mission or two left.  I love this game, it’s fantastic.  I wrote about it recently and my time with it since has only solidified my opinion that it is worthy of the Dark Souls lineage.  The combat in this game is extremely satisfying, and it’s complex in a way that surpasses Dark Souls.  I  have a few complaints about the game, but I’ll probably do a wrap up post once I’m done with the it and talk about them there.

Pandora’s Star

7b10108697-fe13-4eb9-b48b-e5350f307e4f7dimg400
Pandora’s Star cover art.

I haven’t made as much progress as I’d hoped (that is the theme of my read through of this book), but I’ve definitely come around on this book.  I’m absolutely engaged in the book due to the world building and technology in this book.  The characters are mostly flat and bland for me, with a few exceptions.  I’m hopefully going to finish this book by next week.  Last year, I finished the White Luck Warrior somewhere around November.  I timed out my read of the next book, The Great Ordeal, to be right in the middle between that book and the release of the final book in the series, The Unholy Consult.  That middle date is next Wednesday, 3/15/17.  I’ve been dying to get to this book so if I don’t finish Pandora’s Star before then, I won’t finish it until after I’ve read The Great Ordeal.

Baby Reveal

First ultrasound, and we told our family and friends we’re pregnant.

Last week we finally told our family and friends that we were pregnant.  We’ve been keeping this secret for about a month, so it was really fun sharing our news with the people we care about.

We had our first ultrasound last Wednesday morning.  I posted a couple weeks ago about my anxiety, but it really ended up being no big deal.  My wife and I were so excited to see our baby moving and to hear its heartbeat, we barely registered anything else.  Leading up to the appointment, we had known about the baby for a month.  Because we hadn’t shared our news with anyone, the baby seemed like a far off possibility, rather than a soon to be reality.  Seeing our baby on screen was a big game changer for us.  That, combined with actually telling people about the baby, made this whole pregnancy seem a lot more real for both of us.

Everyone had a super positive reaction when we gave them the news.  My mom specifically — she saw the ultrasound picture and practically dove into me and my wife and started crying.  It was a very sweet moment.  We saw a few people in person, but we ended up having to call most of our family and friends.

I mentioned in that previous post how I was worried about my wife’s parents reactions.  Her mom was the one we were most worried about, and at first she seemed like she was annoyed that we didn’t say  anything sooner.  But she quickly got over it and was excited for us.  All in all it was a really exciting and fun day.

My wife is diabetic, so her pregnancy is high risk.  She will be monitored by her OB/GYN every two weeks, so I’ll continue to provide updates as we move along.  I know there are going to be struggles and challenges — especially with her diabetes, but this was a great day and we’re both so excited for what this baby means for our little family.

Baby Excitement, and a Little Anxiety

Next week we go in for the first doctors appointment for our baby.  I’m so happy I’m going to be a dad, and I’m also a little anxious about the realities of pregnancy.

I’m super excited, we haven’t told our family yet and we agreed to start telling people after this appointment.  I took the day off from work and we’re going to tell everyone right after the appointment.  I get along fine with my wife’s family, but her parent’s have always been a little standoffish with me.  They had some very strong opinions about our decision to get married, and there are some old hurts there.  I’m excited to have some big news and get a positive reaction out of them.

Now that the reality of our situation has set in and I’ve had time to think on things, I feel a huge change in my perspective.  I have been so focused on work and job hunting over the last few months that I felt like all I wanted to was to get out of the job I’m currently working.  Now that there’s a baby on the way I’m seeing this job in a completely different light.  While I still want out, I appreciate the flexibility I have right now.  I had a job offer somewhere else, and I got the interview for that job literally an hour after I found out we’re pregnant.  Before I knew about the baby, I was so excited at the prospect of getting away from my boss that I was ready to jump ship immediately, no matter what the job looked like.  Thinking it over and talking with my wife, the baby changes things so much.   A nominal increase in pay doesn’t come compare to 4 weeks of vacation and no overtime.  My time has become a much more valuable currency than my pay.

The only thing I am a little apprehensive about is the gynecologist.  The OB/GYN my wife picked is a man.  I know that a lot of people think that’s a stupid feeling to have, or even a sexist feeling to have.  But I can’t deny it, it does give me a little anxiety.  My wife and I are high school sweethearts, so we’ve never been with anyone else.  I don’t like the idea of another man poking around down there, even in a clinical, sterile environment.  And I know the pregnancy and birth are going to be full of these weird situations, but when I’m honest with myself it does make me feel anxious.  Whether or not that makes me a sexist or insensitive, I don’t know.  My wife knows how I feel and we’re on the same page.  I told her I want her to have the best care possible, man or woman.  She knows how anxious it makes me feel, and she’s not happy about it either.  It’s a necessary evil and neither of us look forward to it.  Things will be totally fine no matter what, I’m just looking forward to eventually having the baby and putting the anxiety behind me.

Babies and Jobs

Huge news changes my perspective on my career.

So my wife told me last week that she’s pregnant.  We’ve been trying for three months to start a family, so I’m very happy to say the least.  I’ve always dreamed about this and I couldn’t be more excited that it’s finally happening.  She’s only five weeks as of this past Saturday, so we haven’t even seen a doctor yet, that happens in a few weeks.  I haven’t told anyone, none of my family or friends know yet.  It’s kind of exciting to have this secret between my wife and I, we both know there are huge changes yet but no one in our life know’s it yet.  I even bought plans to make a crib, and I’ve never even built anything before! It’s a very emotional and happy time for us.

However, this has definitely changed my perspective on the job hunt.  I’ve been pursuing a job with a local hospital to implement their electronic health record.  I was really excited about this opportunity and I have the right experience and skills to do really well.  However, it isn’t much of a raise, they can’t guarantee me paternity leave, and I’m leaving a job with 4 weeks vacation a year for a job with 1 week a year.  Seeing as I’m starting a family, I’m really going to want that time off.  And on top of that, during the actual go live implementation, I’m expected to work 60-70 hours a week for up to 2 months.  If the timing works out right, I’d be working 20-30 hours of overtime a week with a 4-5 month old baby at home.

I’m really torn.  My wife told me last Wednesday at 9 am that we’re pregnant, and I got a call at 10 am to come in for an interview that same day.  My perspective changed so quickly after talking to my wife.  I was so gung ho for this job, but now that I know there’s a real live baby inside my wife, I see things very differently.  I’m pretty certain that this is a God thing, the timing on the baby news and the call for the interview seem too coincidental to me.  I’ve been trying to be more prayerful and listen to God recently, and I think this is a pretty clear message.  I find out life changing news that immediately makes me see this new job differently, RIGHT before they call me in for an interview. I don’t see how the timing could be anything but a sign from God.

jobhunting

It’s a very strange place to be, because I am basically walking into this job with ease.  I’m the perfect candidate for what they need, and every step in the hiring process feels like a formality.  I haven’t decided what to do yet, but I’m probably not going to take the job.  It doesn’t really further my current goals, other than getting me out of my current job.  Outside of that one thing, everything else about it is a negative for me.

This is a very confusing time for me in my career.  I want to work as a web developer because I think that would make me most happy.  I can’t get a job doing that though, because I don’t have any education or experience.  I hate my current boss and want a change, but the benefits working for local government are very attractive for a brand new dad.  I am perfectly suited for this new job, but the benefits aren’t great and ultimately it doesn’t further my long term goals.  It actually further mires me down in the work I’m currently doing, which I don’t really enjoy and don’t want to do long term.

I think I’m going to stick it out here for a while.  The baby changes things for me.  Ideally, I could get hired on for some remote company doing some kind of entry level web design and learn the tools of the trade from their senior staff.  That way I could work from home for them for awhile, before ultimately starting my own web development business.  However, I don’t see that in the cards, at least not right now.  I think I’ll stay here in my current job, unless something becomes available at the hospital in the town I live in.  currently, I commute 45 minutes away from home.  If I could get hired on in my hometown, I’d see that as a worthy compromise for the time off I’d be losing.  I’d have more time at home to work on web development, so that’s the only thing I’m going to be looking at, at least until after the baby is born.

Whatever happens, at least I have my wife and my baby on the way.  I know this blog has been pretty heavy on the job hunt, but I’m honestly in a very lucky place.  I have a decent job with a lot of built in security, I have good benefits, I have a wife who loves me, I have a baby on the way, we live in the richest country in the world in a time of great financial and technological prosperity (despite Trump’s election), I honestly don’t have much to complain about.  Maybe it’s from reading The Rational Optimist recently, but my outlook on life is pretty good right now.

Now I just need to get started on that crib!