Next week we go in for the first doctors appointment for our baby. I’m so happy I’m going to be a dad, and I’m also a little anxious about the realities of pregnancy.
I’m super excited, we haven’t told our family yet and we agreed to start telling people after this appointment. I took the day off from work and we’re going to tell everyone right after the appointment. I get along fine with my wife’s family, but her parent’s have always been a little standoffish with me. They had some very strong opinions about our decision to get married, and there are some old hurts there. I’m excited to have some big news and get a positive reaction out of them.
Now that the reality of our situation has set in and I’ve had time to think on things, I feel a huge change in my perspective. I have been so focused on work and job hunting over the last few months that I felt like all I wanted to was to get out of the job I’m currently working. Now that there’s a baby on the way I’m seeing this job in a completely different light. While I still want out, I appreciate the flexibility I have right now. I had a job offer somewhere else, and I got the interview for that job literally an hour after I found out we’re pregnant. Before I knew about the baby, I was so excited at the prospect of getting away from my boss that I was ready to jump ship immediately, no matter what the job looked like. Thinking it over and talking with my wife, the baby changes things so much. A nominal increase in pay doesn’t come compare to 4 weeks of vacation and no overtime. My time has become a much more valuable currency than my pay.
The only thing I am a little apprehensive about is the gynecologist. The OB/GYN my wife picked is a man. I know that a lot of people think that’s a stupid feeling to have, or even a sexist feeling to have. But I can’t deny it, it does give me a little anxiety. My wife and I are high school sweethearts, so we’ve never been with anyone else. I don’t like the idea of another man poking around down there, even in a clinical, sterile environment. And I know the pregnancy and birth are going to be full of these weird situations, but when I’m honest with myself it does make me feel anxious. Whether or not that makes me a sexist or insensitive, I don’t know. My wife knows how I feel and we’re on the same page. I told her I want her to have the best care possible, man or woman. She knows how anxious it makes me feel, and she’s not happy about it either. It’s a necessary evil and neither of us look forward to it. Things will be totally fine no matter what, I’m just looking forward to eventually having the baby and putting the anxiety behind me.