When I started this blog, I wasn’t sure how much of myself I would be identifying. I kept a lot of my personal information separate from the blog. I’m still going to continue to do that, but I figured if someone were to read this blog it would make sense to have a little more context about who I am.
I’m a married man in my mid 20’s. I have a beautiful wife who I love very much. She and I are high school sweethearts, we’ve been together for over 10 years and married for 5. Marriage has provided us many challenges, but we’ve always learned and grown through tough experiences. My wife has had several health complications in the time we’ve been together including Type 1 diabetes, a thyroid condition, and a brain disorder. The brain disorder was easily the most difficult for us to overcome. She was in a wheelchair for a while, she had several brain surgeries, but eventually she came out of it free and clear.
I love my wife very much. However, there are a lot of struggles that come with being with the same person for so long. I’ve always heard those old adages proclaiming the difficulty of marriage, but none of those things seem real when you’re newly in love. Slowly, with time, those adages prove true. My wife and I have been working on our communication skills for the past year or two as our poor communication has caused many unnecessary arguments and complications. We’ve been seeing a marriage counselor for a while. When I tell people that, everyone thinks we’re on the verge of divorce. We started going to this counselor when we were in a particularly rough patch, but now we just go for maintenance. There’s nothing wrong with therapy, and I would encourage everyone to see someone on a semi regular basis just to make sure you’re communicating properly, even if you’re not having trouble in your relationship. We’ve gained a lot of new skills together, but we still struggle. Just yesterday we got in an argument over a new couch we were putting together. It came back to poor communication, even though we have all these new skills from the therapist. Neither one of us is perfect, and we still fail sometimes even when we have all the tools we need to work well together.
I’m coming to realize there’s a huge difference between new puppy love and a love that endures over many years of hardship and struggle. Puppy love is fun and exciting, but long term love that grows and progresses and changes is really fulfilling. I’m married to a great woman.
I currently work in I.T. as a senior analyst for a local government entity. I’ve been working this job for seven years. I enjoy I.T. and I’m good at it, but I went to school for business. I have a bachelor’s degree in business and a masters degree in accounting. I picked accounting when I was in college because I had to pick a major and I didn’t really know what I wanted to do yet. I wish that I had taken a few years off from school and figured out what I really want. If I had done that, right now I would have a degree that I’d actually use, instead of a giant pile of debt.
My job is great in that I get to have my hand in almost every aspect of running the I.T. infrastructure of a medium sized business. Right now I’m focused on server administration and application development, but I’ve worked on routers and switches, SAN’s, backups, antivirus, VMWare, virtual desktops, telecom, etc. My job is not so great in that the work environment can be pretty frustrating.
My boss is a huge fan of the Tony Robbins stereotypical motivation speakers. He wants to improve and excel, and that includes every aspect of our work. This is great when you first start working here. I like to improve myself as well, so I was looking forward to working for this guy. The problem comes when he doesn’t know how to turn it off. Every conversation turns into “I just want us to do better” and “we could have done this or that better” or “I know you’re trying but I just need a little more from you.” One of these conversations is not a big deal, but when you get that every time you submit a completed project or a task to him, it becomes demoralizing. We’re currently hemorrhaging I.T. staff, and it’s primarily due to how his management style tends to burn people out. You never feel good enough, no matter how well you perform at your job. I am totally on board with self-improvement, with providing excellent customer service, and continuously progressing my skills. But I also need a little positive energy sometimes too, instead of always feeling like I’m almost doing a good job.
I’m currently working on developing my web development skills in pursuit of changing careers. It’s pretty intimidating, I have a good job with a lot of built in security and a pension. Leaving the government position is going to be hard, but now that I know I have a passion for web development I hope that I will be happier. The difficult part right now is finding the time outside of work to develop those skills. I’m staring at a computer screen 40-50 hours a week, and it can be challenging to come home after a 10 hour day and go right back to a screen. Not only a screen, but using my brain to learn new things. If I didn’t have so much debt built up from my online degrees and my wife’s nursing school, I’d quit right now and spend those 40-50 hours a week learning new web dev skills and building a portfolio. Alas, for the foreseeable future I’ll just have to slowly chip away at it.
I don’t want to go too in depth on this as I’m assuming this is the majority of what I’ll be writing about here on the blog. Here are the big topics though:
I’ve been playing the guitar off and on for about 13 years. My uncle gave me an electric guitar when I was a teenager and I fell in love immediately. I love any kind of guitar based music. My parents introduced me to a wide range of music when I was younger, but I always tended towards heavier guitar music. In the last few years I got really deep into metal music, so that’s primarily what I’ve been listening to. In fact, that bullshit faux-intellectual blog name actually came from me trying to find a unique domain name. I was listening to this song and just played around with some of the lyrics until I found something unique.
In my last post, I gave my personal reading history with some specific fantasy authors. I got into Lord of the Rings when I was young, and it made a huge impression on me. I’ve been obsessed with fantasy literature ever since. I definitely enjoy fantasy over sci-fi, but I sneak in a sci-fi book here and there. I view fantasy books like I view T.V. It’s cheap entertainment that lets me escape the mundanity of life. I don’t read these books to gain anything significant out of them (aside from Erikson and Bakker, those dudes have poignant perspectives). I do read non-fiction sometimes as well, usually when I’m really interested in something in the news. I actually just finished reading the Rational Optimist, which is a great book on how much better life is now than it has ever been in human history. I read this after a particularly negative conversation with my mother in law about how dangerous it is to let kids play outside 🙂
I’m not big into sports. I watched every Bulls game in the ’90’s, but outside of that I’ve never been very interested in sports on the whole. The large glaring exception to that is MMA. My dad has been watching the UFC since it started in 1993, and I’ve been hooked on it my entire life. I am a practicing christian, but I watch MMA religiously. I follow my favorite fighters/bloggers on twitter, I have an RSS specifically for MMA news, I watch every single event on Fox and on Pay per View. I already posted about Cyborg’s most recent UFC win and I guarantee you I’ll be posting about big events pretty regularly. Speaking of which, UFC 204 is this weekend. Watch for that H-bomb.
I’ve been playing video games all my life. We were poor growing up, but every once in awhile my parents would rent a Nintendo from the video store for the weekend. I eventually got a Playstation when I got older, and played games fairly consistently since then. I’ve always tended more towards story based games over games that are primarily concerned with mechanics. For example, I’d pick Final Fantasy over Call of Duty pretty much any day.
Anyway, that’s probably enough background on me for the purposes of this blog. I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m writing this blog for two reasons: to familiarize myself with WordPress in pursuit of a career in web development, and because I’ve been journaling recently and it’s helped me to express myself emotionally a little better. I don’t intend to advertise this blog or make any money off of it, it’s mostly just for my own edification. If someone ends up reading it, that’s cool but I’m not really interested in making myself beholden to an audience. I’m just going to write what I want to write, and hopefully be a better person for it.